Cruel

Why did you leave?

Did you have to go

Leaving such a cruel evening to myself.

You’re leaving now

Like you always do,

Tear stains my pillow, the way our memories used to

The memories that has deeply carved into me.

Maybe years later,

We’ll meet again

As different as we’ll be

Have you became the one you always wanted to.

A New Start…

Sometimes life throw bricks your way and sometimes we’re not strong enough to catch it and maintain our weight at the same time so, in most cases we would collapse and fall. But what if, just what if, life gives you an opportunity to start again…

For so many years and through so many daydreams, I catch myself anticipating the possibilities of a new start and how wonderful it would be. I mean, think about it, you can erase the mishaps and the faults of the past and start on a brand new crisp page with no worries other than to remake the imperfections of the past which is now behind you.

Surely anyone who has been on tough and bumpy journeys would sympathise and dream of the same or similar but with one fact that we all know so dearly is that this would only happen in a dream, in a fairy tale. And we don’t live in one… Personally, I’ve been hit by life’s bricks multiple of times and metaphorically speaking, I would be covered by permanent bruises all over me by now. “Whenever life give me lemons I make lemonades out of it.” I have to add that one in this post somewhere! It’s a classic! Nothing is sweeter than facts. Truth will always remain as the truth no matter how much we try to twist and turn it and yes, some will be blinded by lies and may never see the truth but the universe will always hold onto it and reveal it in its timing. People won’t always be pleasant, their intentions are not always pure, their needs and wants can be insidious and in this manner, I was hurt over and over again by their little games. If you’ve been hurt or endured physical or mental pain, I am here for you! Don’t feel like you have to go through it alone and won’t be understood. Those were definitely my thoughts as I experienced the cruelty of this world. Letting your worries and pain into the world by talking or sharing with others may seem daunting and you might think that it’ll weaken you but trust me, I’ve been there and it actually obtains the opposite impact. It will strengthen you because you have released your pain by talking it out and letting it out of you rather than keeping it inside and adding more burden and suffering to your mental strength. It’s similar to our physical strength, if we hold onto a glass of water long enough, despite the weight of the water or the glass, our arm will be exhausted eventually and needs a break and to do so, we need to learn to put the glass of water down. Likewise, if we continue to hold onto our burdens and worries for too long, we’ll eventually be exhausted and overwhelmed.

Put your glass down and take a breather.

In the same way, I decided to let it out and let it go but it wasn’t a quick fix and I knew that it won’t be. I tried many ways to cope with what I was undergoing, some helped, some didn’t. Some helped for a short while and dissipated while some was detrimental for me. As I was undergoing this rough period of my life I began to realise a pattern that I always fall onto. An urgency to rely on someone. This truth wasn’t clear or known to me til I was mentally stable and maintaining my regular reflections.

Starting again would not be able to sound exactly like the way we want it to but hold onto the possibilities and seek for a wider perspective.

I hope you guys have a wonderful day and talk to you later! Or catch me in another post…